This is an accessory store where everything is $1.
They even have cosmetics! brushes, lipstick, and lashes as well as cute socks and panties!!
Because I know some of you lovelies are glam but poor. It’s good for your mental health to do something nice, even if it’s cheap as dirt.
- go to this website
- paste the url of the mix and click the green button
- now you can select all, or select just a few
- click ‘download selected’
- it’s gonna download as a .zip
Anonymous asked: Hi, I was wondering if you folks had any resources that describe different grieving processes people go through? I think most everyone has heard of the ‘stages’ process (anger, denial, bargaining etc.), but it’d be awesome to have something that goes into greater detail about it, or offers some sort of alternative. :)
The stages of grief are actually pretty standard. There’s really no need to search beyond them for alternative methods of examining grief, though of course you may look into the books in our further reading section for more strategies for understanding and coping with loss.
We, however, are going to focus on the Five Stages of Grief, also known as the Kübler-Ross Model. For the record, these stages are:
- Denial. Blankness, shock, numbness, disbelief.
- Anger. A sense of betrayal, of abandonment. Maybe blaming oneself, others, or even the deceased for the loss.
- Bargaining. Trying to reason away the loss or else buy a respite from it.
- Depression. The full weight of the loss. Desolation, heaviness, terrible sadness.
- Acceptance. The loss is a part of the self. Internalization, incorporation, moving on.
This list isn’t meant to represent the proper emotional journey of grief. There is no normal way to grieve. These stages may be of uneven length or create a loop to repeat until there is some epiphany and the sufferer can move past it; some stages may come out of order or not at all. But mostly, this is a pretty decent angle at which to start examining grief.
It’s easy to look at those five stages and think of a list like that as limiting, boring even. Each grieving process will be unique to the character going through it, as will the feelings and actions of the character at each stage. Characters exhibit grief in myriad ways. They are not limited by the most obvious clichés of denial or depression.
- A gritty, hardened character can beg and sob and be overcome with fear of a life without the object of their grief.
- A timid character might cope by being the shoulder for others to cry on as they deal with their loss; they may gain closure by affecting strength until they actually feel strong.
- A sexual character might do exactly as one would expect and lose himself in the arms of another.
And, of course, there is everything in between. Messing with the reader’s expectations for a character’s reaction can yield powerful results. As John Green wrote in The Fault in Our Stars, “Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you.”
Here are some assorted tips and observations on writing grief. Do with them what you will, but remember that these are not universal:
- Strength and weakness are relative terms. The distinction, for instance, between crying as a testament to the strength of a bond between two characters and crying as a method of making others feel sorry for a character’s loss is palpable. Decide for each character what constitutes “strength” and “weakness” and show the reader the difference. Grief is a good time to do this because it is typically a process where a character’s true colors are bound to show themselves eventually, even if they try to hide their suffering or their process is more nuanced than other characters’.
- Grief can come with nostalgia. A grieving character may look with a kinder eye on memories that include the person they have lost. They might long for those days, focus on them to the detriment of their present and the people in it. They might put the deceased character up on a pedestal, refuse to hear anything negative about them, or decide that their not-so-great experiences with that character were actually better than they’d remembered.
- Memory loss isn’t uncommon. When a character is first told about the death of another character, he might enter a state of shock. While in this state, the character might be so overcome or so numb that he cannot recall later what he said or did while in that state. He might not even remember that the other character has died. You can read a bit more about this here.
- Loss makes people uncomfortable. Like, really uncomfortable. When characters who are not grieving or who are grieving to a lesser extent encounter a character who is very much in mourning, they are often afraid to say or do the wrong thing and cause more pain. It is awkward to say the least.
Characters may not know how to treat a grieving character because that character isn’t behaving as he normally does, whatever that means. When you write about loss, it might be a good idea to write about how other characters perceive the grieving character, how they react to him and speak to him while he is grieving. You could tell the reader a lot about a character’s grief by describing the reactions of the characters around him.
- Grief can be stifling. It can remove a character from their routine, even make that routine seem pointless, selfish, or absurd. It can stomp on convictions, creativity, and relationships with other characters. Deadlines might be missed. Children may go uncared for. These are usually earmarks of the Depression stage of grief, and this period of apathy or listlessness might be a good way to slow the pace of the narrative you’re writing. It may create an interlude between spikes of action, sort of like the quick breath taken by swimmers before plunging again into the water.
- Grief isn’t neat. It doesn’t decline over time in a smooth slope. A character doesn’t have to recover from a loss gradually or at all. Grief isn’t something you get over; it’s something you accept. The acceptance of a loss might look more like a seismograph than a bell curve. Keep that in mind as you write. Feelings of grief may surface unexpectedly.
- How dead is dead? Did the person die right in front of the character or was the character just told of the death? If the character wasn’t present at the death can she take another person’s word for it that it even occurred? If your character could get away with denying the death even happened, would she? For how long?
The sliding scale of physical proximity to the death of another character could play a huge role in how your character will react to their death. Shock might be a more appropriate first response for witnessing a death, whereas denial is more common if the character is not physically present when the event occurs. Shock and denial tend to blend together after a while, though it’s up to you to figure out the exact measurements.
- When was this person supposed to die? Before or after the character in question? A father or grandmother is supposed to die before their daughter or grandson. This dynamic, the dynamic of perceived inevitability, could create subtle differences in the way a character copes with a loss. A character will grieve differently for a child than for a parent. The grieving process could be longer with a child because parents do not expect to witness the sudden death of their child. This dynamic might also be affected by prolonged illness. If a character who has been ill for a long time dies, the grief a character feels over the death will be different. Different how, you ask? Well, that’s up to you.
- How much death has your character seen? If your character has experienced a lot of death in her life, you can be sure that she will handle grief differently than a character feeling loss for the first time. You can play with desensitization by creating a situation where a particular death was special and triggered a pronounced grieving period. It could be a stranger or a best friend, a lover or an enemy; that death was special, and the character’s grief shows the reader a different side of him. Alternatively, a character who has never grieved before could play into expectations by mourning deeply or freak the reader out with a minimal reaction to death. And everything in between.
- Rituals can help some people cope with loss and may disgust others. Many people mourning a loss have expressed feelings of comfort and closure connected with carrying out the religious rituals associated with the death of a loved one. Other people find no solace in ceremony and prefer to grieve in their own way. In either case, it’s good to know about these rituals because they tend to encourage behaviors that might be useful to apply to your characters. Check out an overview of some death rituals at these links:
- The surprising twist is not always stronger than the expected reaction. Sometimes the reader just wants the character to be plain ole sad, to mourn as they mourn the death, to be the cliché. You don’t always have to write the jarring, betcha-didn’t-see-that-coming reactions and emotions for your characters. Sometimes the common sadness, the anger, the fear of the unknown that humans tend to feel in response to a death is enough. There’s something to be said for tapping into the universally-acknowledged emotions people feel as they grieve. Again, how to interpret this advice and when to use it is solely your decision.
There is obviously a lot more we could say on grief, both in coping with loss and in writing it, but that ought to get you started.
Here are some links to further online reading:
- Severe Shock Causes Memory Loss
- Coping with Loss and Grief
- Grief and Grieving: The Process of Accepting Loss
- Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
- Wikipedia: Grief
- Grief and Grieving - Topic Overview
- Coping With Grief
- For Children and Teens: Death and Grief
- On Killing Characters
And here are some book lists on this subject:
- Best Books About Grief (GoodReads)
- Recovering from Grief and Loss (GoodReads)
- Best Books About Grief and Grieving (GoodReads)
- Popular Grief And Loss Books (GoodReads)
- Best Books on Grief and Grieving (Amazon)
- Excellent Books on Grief and Loss (Amazon)
Thank you for your question! If you have anything to add or any further questions, please hit up our ask box!
This prompt set can serve for your inspiration directly or as an askbox meme :)
- That’s not how I expected this to go.
- I haven’t done anything wrong.
- I want these ghosts to go away.
- I wish someone would corrupt me.
- It’s just curiosity.
- This would kill him.
- I need you to meet me.
- That’s a lie!
- Everybody will hate me.
- When was the last time you’ve seen yourself?
- What are you most grateful for?
- Are you content?
- What is your best memory of last year?
- What was the last major accomplishment you’ve had?
- What possession could you not live without?
- Can people change?
- What made you smile today?
- What’s your favorite accessory?
- What is making you mad?
- What did you have for dinner today?
- What did you get done?
- Who are you in love with?
- The best part of today was:
- What is the hardest thing you’re dealing with?
- Today, I wish I had more:
- Tomorrow will be better because:
- What made today unusual?
- What are you looking for from life?
- Tomorrow, I will:
- My house is a home because:
- What was the last thing you apologized for?
- My favorite color is:
- If you could do today over, what would you change?
- Name a person you wish you didn’t have to deal with today.
- I wish I had:
- What book are you reading right now?
- Last thing you wanted, but didn’t get.
- What mood were you in today?
- What was the last new thing you tried?
- My biggest hope is:
- What has challenged your morals?
- List your pets.
- Today I felt really secure in knowing:
- Whose life did you make a difference in today?
- Who made a difference in yours?
- What is your super power?
- What is annoying you?
- What would have made today perfect?
- What stresses you?
- What do you wish you had left unsaid?
hey all, i was looking for some prompts and i found this and idk it’s been helping me today so i highly recommend it if you’re feeling uninspired. :))
—-kicking strongly in your mother’s womb, upon which she is told, “It must be a boy, if it’s so active!”
—-being tagged with a pink beaded bracelet thirty seconds after you are born, and wrapped in pink blankets five minutes thereafter.
—-being confined to the Doll Corner in nursery school when you are really fascinated by Tinker Toys.
—-wanting to wear overalls instead of “frocks.”
—-learning to detest the words “dainty” and “cute. “
—-being labeled a tomboy when all you wanted to do was climb that tree to look out and see a distance.
—-learning to sit with your legs crossed, even when your feet can’t touch the floor yet.
—-hating boys—because they’re allowed to do things you want to do but are forbidden to—and being told hating boys is a phase.
—-learning that something you do is “naughty,” but when your brother does the same thing, it’s “spunky.”
—-wondering why your father gets mad now and then, but your mother mostly sighs a lot.
—-seeing grownups chuckle when you say you want to be an engineer or doctor when you grow up—and learning to say you want to be a mommy or a nurse, instead.
—-wanting to shave your legs at twelve and being agonized because your mother won’t let you.
—-being agonized at fourteen because you finally have shaved your legs, and your flesh is on fire.
—-being told nothing whatsoever about menstruation, so that you think you are bleeding to death with your first period, or:
—-being told all about it in advance by kids at school who titter and make it clear the whole thing is dirty, or:
—-being prepared for it by your mother, who carefully reiterates that it isn’t dirty, all the while talking just above a whisper, and referring to it as the “curse,” “being sick,” or “falling off the roof.”
—-feeling proud of and disgusted by your own body, for the first, but not last, time.
—-dreading summertime because more of your body with its imperfections will be seen—and judged.
—-liking math or history a lot and getting hints that boys are turned off by smart girls.
—-getting hints that other girls are turned off by smart girls.
—-finally getting turned off by smart girls, unconsciously dropping back, lousing up your marks, and being liked by the other kids at last.
—-having an intense crush on another girl or on a woman teacher and learning that that’s unspeakable.